Goodbye Burnout and Stress, it’s Time to Redefine Success

Kalee Boisvert: 00:00:15

Welcome to the wealth and wellness podcast with me Kaylie Boisvert, I specialize in helping people to achieve their financial goals. I have a love for all things numbers, and I'm passionate about financial literacy. My goal is to spark healthy and positive conversations around wealth and investment and create a world where nobody is limited by their financial situation. But wealth is just one piece of the equation of living our best lives. So join me as we explore both wealth and wellness topics. From your net worth to your self worth. Get ready to take confident action. Hello, this is Kaylee and thank you so much for tuning into this episode of the wealth and wellness podcast. Today we are joined by a special guest Her name is Teresa Lambert, and she is a business and success coach with an impressive background in luxury hospitality at the number one ski resort in North America. Teresa supports ambitious women entrepreneurs, coaches and leaders to redefine success with elegance and create the impact income and freedom they desire in business and in life. In 2020, Theresa became the best selling author of her book achieve with grace, a guide to elegance and effectiveness in intense workplaces. She is also a speaker and a fellow podcaster co host of dissecting success. So I'm so grateful to have you here today, Teresa, and I'm excited for this conversation. Yes, so thank you so much for being here on the podcast. And I guess just to get started, do you want to tell us a little bit about your background, you know, your journey, what brought you to do the work you're doing kind of in your own words, instead of you know, my lovely bio introduction.

Theresa Lambert: 00:02:11

I love it. Well, thank you so much for having me on your fabulous podcast. I'm so excited to have this conversation with you today. How did I get here? Wow, that is you know, I sometimes ask myself that question. Again. But no, I, you know, I think in in some ways, I've always been a very ambitious driven woman and I really was gunning for what the world believes success to be. I had this idea that got into my head off to a beautiful hotel experience in Germany on my 16th birthday, that one day I wanted to be a hotel General Manager and I had all these things planned out how that was going to go down, including going to school. But in 2015 I traveled I was backpacking around the world. I went to South America, which was amazing. And then I came to beautiful Whistler BC, where I still am 15 years later. And so I'd actually planned to continue my travels and then study Hotel Management in Innsbruck, Austria, but I never made it home. So ultimately often accident and recovery. This is like too long to dive into this story right now. I decided to come back to Whistler, and after a few more years in in, you know, the restaurant business, and I was like I'm ready to get into hotels, I'm ready to do it. And so I had applied for a role that was a leadership position at a boutique hotel here in Whistler, beautiful Nita Lake Lodge, and didn't get the job because they believe they didn't have enough leadership experience. And so, but they offered me a job at the front desk. And so I was like, You know what, you got to start somewhere, right? Like you, you got to start somewhere. And so I started at the hotel as a front desk agent. And within just a few months, there was a transition. And they offered me to step into the leadership role just two months later, which was awesome. So I sort of started to progress in my career in hotels. And as it turns out, there were a lot of things that could use some improvement at the property at that time. It had quite a wild history, loads of ownership changes, management changes, was slow was a bit of a different place. And that was in 2011. So it's just after the Olympics, but it was still very quiet to 2011 2012. It wasn't nearly as busy as the town will was before COVID. It's sort of you know how this story changes. But ultimately what happened is I continue to move up the ladder rather quickly and just free us after starting with the company. GM at the time that was there had left us with the Fed GM that I had seen in the free is that I was there. And the second management company, so loads of transition. And the owner at the time, approached me, I was the operations and revenue manager at the time. And so he approached me and asked me to step into the role temporarily, until they could find a general manager. And that made sense at the time, because I was like, why would they ask me, right? Like I was in hotels for four years at the time, yes, I was overseeing housekeeping, revenue management, front desk engineering. So I had a lot, you know, going already, but I didn't have a background in the people that were in the general before me all, you know, male in the late 50s, with 20 plus years experience managing hotels and degrees in hotel management, and all these things. And so I certainly didn't fit the label of somebody that you would hire all the experience. And so I stepped in for a little bit. And it was probably a month later, the owner approached me again, and he was like, actually, I was thinking about this and I would like you to take on the role permanently. And to be really planned, I fought he gotten mad.

Theresa Lambert: 00:06:25

And not in a, you know, I mean, I, I say this from like, the most like, respectful way. But I was like, Why? Why me, because I was looking at the situation. And yes, I was driving revenues, I was doing a really good job, like there was was undoubtedly I was supporting the company to move forward. But I just had a hard time grasping it. And so the offer was on the table, I knew there was only a few options, in terms of what was going to happen, that was really the either I was going to take the job, and I'm going to be getting a terribly wrong, and I'll lose the job within 12 months, but I gained the experience, right, or I'm going to step into the role and nothing changes, and I'll probably lose the job within 12 months of starting, like all the people before me. And again, the experience, or there is this small chance that maybe I can just put my own spin on it and make it work. And if I can make it work, this would be the most brilliant career move ever. Because within such a short amount of time, I would be well always wanted to be at the top off, you know, the game and the beautiful luxury boutique hotel GM at 29. It just seems like you know, why not? So I jumped into it. And turns out I'm very good at building teams, and building business.

Theresa Lambert: 00:07:50

And skyrocketed revenue, we doubled the team, like we became an award winning property here and was very well known. And it was a wild ride was a really wild ride. But I put my heart and soul into the business. That was all I was doing. I was living and breathing. You know, being in the hotel world, it's a 20 473 165 day, a year business. Nobody ever sleeps, right? So there is never like, oh, we're close now, we'll always open and so what ended up happening is that I got consumed by this need to drive results and to prove that I could do it. And the more results we put on, the more pressure I felt to continue to you know, push the boundaries of what is possible with with the property. And so my ambitious nature literally got the best of me. And I burned out about three years into the role and started to vd struggle internally. And, you know, I think one thing that hospitality up until that date had taught me is that if there's a fire in the kitchen, the customers won't never know. And so every day I would put a mask on and I put my power suit on and I'm like, okay, you know, we're gonna do this, and I'm going to pretend everything's fine, and I'm okay and I don't need support. And I vt got muddled in this whole idea that, you know, if I'm going to start asking for help, or if I dropped the ball, then I'm going to get fired, I'm going to lose my job, like everything is going to go just down the drain. And I was terrified. I mean, almost every week, I thought surely this week is a week I'm gonna get fired. And I actually spoke about that in my book achieve with grace. And it wasn't until I walked into my natural puffs office Actually, I had pyland about 50 pounds in two months. But at the time, I was training for a half marathon. I was on a specific diet for running so I was running about like 20 kilometers a week and I walked into my natural Post Office and she looked at me and she's like, Oh my god, you look sick. And I was like, I know, I'm not feeling good. And so what ended up happening was that I was severely burnt out, which I didn't really know, this was now nearly five years ago. So by now, it wasn't really a thing we spoke about, you know, being busy and being tired and exhausted was just a normal lingo we used in the hotel industry, I mean, everybody worked six, seven days a week, 14 hours a day, it's just, it was just a normal thing that we were all doing, right, if you wanted to make it to the top of you at the top, you just put in the time, and you grind, and you get it done. And that's that. And so I never questioned it until that moment. So ultimately, what happened is, I actually signed up for a health coaching certification, because I was trying to self help myself, and in the pursuit of looking for something to fix myself, right, because I was like, something's broken, like, just tell me what to eat and what to do. And, you know, I'm gonna get myself out of this, like, in a couple of weeks, right? Like, that was my attitude. And that wasn't working. So I, I signed up for coaching certification, with the only intention to get myself out of the situation, because I wasn't enjoying what I was doing. I was struggling every day, I was getting sick all the time, I was putting on this weight, like, I was forgetting things, I had bad brain fog. And I just wasn't able to function as the high achiever that I am anymore. And so that's how I got into coaching. And turns out as I was started to be introduced to this world of personal development, mindset, mindfulness, all these like things that I feel like now Tom's that was so familiar with, it really started to hit me that the way I saw a successful woman, or the way I even saw myself to be successful, was a really distorted idea that really wasn't long term sustainable. And so I, I really started to have this deep desire to figure out, you know, how can we make it work? How can we have the career or the business that we want, the wealth that we want, and at the same time, also feel like we're actually feeling a life in our life. And that was a big, big shift for me, because it started, I started to change my perspective on how I looked at every single thing I was doing. And so this is how I ended up being where I'm at today, it took me about three years to make the decision to leave my Korean hotels behind and commit to coaching full time, had a very different plan for coaching. It was before COVID head, I left the hotel world in January 2020. So free months before the pandemic, wow. And then ever since have pivoted my business to be 100% online to be focused on supporting, you know, ambitious women entrepreneurs and coaches, specifically on their business building journey. But to do it in a way that video allows us to time and space to live our life at the same time and not be consumed by it. 24 seven,

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:34

yes. I love that and, and just sharing that journey and being vulnerable to share that. And I think, you know, hearing those things, it's, it's, it's funny and inspiring. And but it is so because it's like I was I've been there. And I think so many women can relate to that. And specifically, you know, women that are ambitious, career driven, high achievers, we think that, you know, I think it's like when you put yourself in that headspace Yeah, there is this belief that you have to give your whole self and put it all in and then it you know, then there is that inner Battle of well, you know, can I even have start a family have a family, is that possible? And it's like we put off these other very important elements of life thinking that we can't have both or that it's not feasible to have both like I'm thinking when you were talking a lot of my clients, like I said, are these high achieving ambitious women in careers like lawyers and, and they experienced very similar things. And it's just the way of life that the hours they work, and when I hear it, I'm like, Oh, that's pretty crazy. But when when you're in it and part of that environment, it's just that's it. That's what we do. And yeah, that's the expectation. And so I think it's so important to have this conversation because it's it's giving us this moment to pause a moment to think and, you know, is there a difference? Is there another way to be doing these things? That we can still be ambitious? But have have it all or have the balance? So can you tell me maybe what are some of the biggest challenges you see being faced by these women like women who work with entrepreneurs, other women coaches, high achieving women? Like what are the biggest challenges that they're they're going through? Probably?

Theresa Lambert: 00:15:26

Well, I think that there is still this belief, right? That in order to make it in order to be successful, we have to struggle, we have to work harder, we have to hustle, right? Like, I think that that is so ingrained in our society, because we really, you know, we celebrate overnight success, rapid acceleration, promotions, money, right? Like, we have put this pressure on ourselves, and the faster we get somewhere, and the more we do, the more celebrated by society. And so I think for women, there was this real pressure to keep up. And so this belief that it's not possible, to do it a different way, is a big one, a really big one. And we recreate a struggle in so many different ways. Because once you have this core belief that in order to succeed, like in order to, you know, even the times we use, right, like, let's look at a time like, we get a break the glass ceiling, how often have you heard about like women, especially in careers, right, let's break the class ceiling, let's get more women into the C suite. This morning, just I was reading that, you know, there was an article and they were like, there is now 8.2% of female, you know, executives at the C suite, fortune 500 companies and I was like, 8.2% 8.2% that's terrible still. I'm like, okay, it's progress. But really, and so but so we we look at this, right? And then within the same article, it was like, oh, free, some free million women have, you know, left the workforce during the pandemic, because they weren't able to navigate the whole situation around kids not being able to go to school, going to school, not going to school, homeschooling, go to school, don't go to school, you're sick? Oh, no, you can't go to school. Like, it's been wild. And so, you know, I think we look at all those things, right. And even this time, again, breaking the glass ceiling. I mean, when I think of breaking the glass ceiling, I mean, it's, it's exhausting even thinking about it, like it sounds like a struggle, right? So we've created this storyboard in our society, that it's really hard to make it is really hard to make it. And because it's really hard to make, it means we will have to work even harder, especially because there's only 8.2% of us making it to C suite and fortune 500 companies anyways. So we we have this idea that that is the only way and that is a huge block, huge block. Because when you first start to pull back, when you've worked that much, and also because it works, like I always say, I worked my butt off, I hustled like crazy, I was working all the time. Like, I never not worked. And it worked, right? Like I did get to where I wanted to go, I was having the title, I did have the money, I did have the accolades and the rewards in the publication to be cheering me for what I was doing. And the thing is, that's hard to understand, right? So especially like, the further up, you have, like grinded yourself to get the harder it is to accept that there is actually a different way. And so I think that is the biggest thing for so many of us to to break through and to understand that there is a way and strategies that we can set ourselves up. And that vary, we can prioritize quality over quantity. Right? Like, it's not about how much you work. It's about making sure that the when you work, it's on point. And so often I say to you know, women are workwith like it in business and also leaders and organizations like do you want to have a quantity live? Or do you want to have a quality life? Because there's a big difference between the two?

Kalee Boisvert: 00:19:39

Yes, absolutely. And you're right, like those, those beliefs that are out there that we take on that? Yeah, breaking the glass ceiling, that it does seem exhausting. And you're like, Well, I have a child and I also you know want to be a farm to my child. So I guess that's not possible for me or, you know, I don't have the ability to do that because we just have this belief that it would take this certain expectation to actually get there and it's just like me that's a little much but but changing that and saying and I think companies need to get on board with this because that that mindset has taken us for so long that that you're in the office from this hour to this hour and you know if anything COVID has kind of changed that and taught us that we can be productive in different ways and in different methods and from different locations still and get things done and maybe even get things done quicker and so we have to accept that instead of saying like Well no, you have to I have to see you in the office from this time to this time to know you're working but instead saying that it is about the quality and once that you're getting things done, who cares like that you've logged the hours that's not relevant. So I think there has to be a shift to and in companies and how they look at things too for anyone that is working in more of a career and not necessarily self employed because when you're self employed you can kind of make those switches again it's it takes effort to change that mindset but sometimes it feels like when you're in a career role that it's not even in your ability to change if that's the the company culture that you're coming from. And I like I on your website you talked about the priority on you're putting a priority on making a living rather than actually living so it's like flipping that like actually living your life and having that enjoyment so I think that's another good one too for people to that should stand out. Um What about like when I think of high achieving women and like if you have achieved that success like you had you know, you did it you got there quick you you put in the work and you you you got there What about then sometimes it's like you get there and it is there's it's like never enoughness and it's like okay then it has to be even you have to work even harder even longer make even bigger things happening and I think that too can be overwhelming and and it can be almost you know, it's a hard point when you know, it's a hard place when you get to that point like it should be a point of celebration and and appreciating everything you've done but it's it's sometimes even just more criticism on yourself.

Theresa Lambert: 00:22:25

Yeah, you know, I think that's just a thing right? Like we're always rushing to the finish line. And you know, one of the things that I've noticed over the years and that I often talk about is that we've come up with this life equation, right and it goes something like this once I have done this, I'm going to be that right so we always say like once I have the job I'm going to be successful once I have the money I'm going to have you know, the freedom to do and travel and do what I want and then we have the money and then we don't have the time to travel right so then we're like, uh Well once I have the time, then I get to you know, experience travel and be more free right? Like we always are like I have to do something before I can be something and one of the things that I was thinking about and this is another thing that that often as women right like we're told what to emotional and leave your emotions at home and you know all these like things like we're really like a lot of what society like the language we're using, the way we frame things, it really creates this, these ideologies and we all have different ones around what life should be like. But emotions generally are considered you know, not part of the workplace and the fact is, we're all human beings. So the essence of being human is to be human and part of being human is to be an emotional being we all experience emotions every day throughout the day right? But we more operate like human doings, not human beings and so vd what happens is we approach our life with this idea that well as we do we get to be things and that being things also includes emotions, right? Like once I am married I'm gonna be loved once I have kids I am you know, I'm gonna feel like I get to nurture right like it's like there's always something fast and so what really happens is we get to these places and I've seen this with so many people, we get to the top of our careers and then we feel stuck. It's like we feel stuck and like you said, they're more like oh my god, I got to do more because this isn't enough like I'm still not feeling it. I'm still not feeling good enough. I'm still not feeling fulfilled enough. I still don't feel like I like people very understand my value. Like The thing is, it doesn't matter what you do, if you don't prioritize those feelings now, it doesn't matter how much money you make, what title you have, how big your home is, you know, it really doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day, you're always putting a block in the way of it. And so doors, this disconnect, of being in the successful role, but not feeling like you're successful. And I experienced that. And, you know, this question, right? Like, why do they call it making a living, if it doesn't make you come alive? And I realized, for myself, I didn't even know anymore what it meant to feel alive? Because I was so focused on on going all the time, right? Like, what would it actually feel like, just stop? I mean, it was terrifying. As I stopped, like,

Theresa Lambert: 00:25:56

are you crazy, like stopping? That's a bad idea. And so what we really want to do is start to think about and that is, like, a very good tool that people can use is think about, like, how do you really want to feel in your life? Like, not just right now, but like, you know, if you could go 10 years down the road, maybe even to, you know, 20 years down the road, or maybe, to that point in time, where you're like, about to die, right? Like, if you could say, every day of my life, I felt this. And that is how I'm that's the legacy I was living, right? How different does that feel versus saying, oh, I've accomplished all these things, right to say, I lived my life. And every day, I felt joy, I felt happiness, I felt supported, I felt loved. I felt like I was living an extraordinary life. I felt confident. I felt nurtured. I felt wealthy, right. Like, I lived my life as a wealthy woman. I mean, how amazing would it be, if that is what you say, as you as you finish, you know, as you take your last breath, I mean, there's something beautiful for a lot of philosophical about that. But from that place of feeling, we can actually reverse engineer our goals, and see if the actions we're taking in the things we aspire to actually fit into that vision for ourselves and how we want to feel. And we get to feel that now. Right? Like, what action can I do today? That connects me even more with this idea of, of being a wealthy woman, or living an extraordinary life. And a very simple example of that, for me is, um, fresh flowers. I always, I never had fresh fresh flowers at home, because I was like, fresh flowers, waste of money, right? Like, they go bad. Like, like, why do you need fresh flowers in their home? I mean, come on, right? And so then, when I started to, to really be like, Okay, well, I want to feel like I lived this exquisit life, like, I want to feel joy, I want to feel like I'm a wealthy woman. And I was like, What would a wealthy woman do? And I was like, you know what a wealthy woman would, or joyful woman, she would have fresh flowers in her home every single month of the year. And so in December of 2020. So this is like, not even a year ago, I decided that I was going to have fresh flowers in my home, every single month. And I do. And it's been the most beautiful thing, because every time I see them, it makes me happy. It reminds me that I have so much wealth already and wealth in a much bigger sense than monetary wealth. But there's something about the feeling it evokes in me, just seeing those flowers, right? And this is a very simple example. But this is how we can really start to create a vibe in our homes in our life, that actually supports us feeling the way we want to feel. And then we get to do whatever else we want to do. And then we get to go out and you know, achieve and conquer. Yeah, but we feel fast.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:29:30

Yes, yes. So asking, How do I want to feel and have that be sort of the starting point from then where we go with planning if you're an entrepreneur, if you're planning out your career and what's next it's, well how do I want to feel and that's going to help be your guide I think on you know, what's next and what makes sense and it can be any decision that comes up you can ask yourself that too. And it's going to help be a guide because it is going Little bit it's going within and being intuitive yeah and then and then doing it now maybe you don't feel like you're in the place that you necessarily want to be but if you can still make that change and in the existing circumstance like you said with the fresh flowers that's very realistic that so what is someone's fresh flowers like maybe they have their own version of it but if you can do that to evoke that feeling now whether rather than waiting because you're right it's we so much in our lives go when I get this then I'm going to feel this and I see it so much with money as people think when I have this much money you know then I will be happy or then I will be able to do everything I want to do and and then that just never ends up happening and and it's just like well how much is enough in it that's not really the answer it's it's more that they're not giving them selves the time or allowing themselves to be in that that enjoying or the joy or the happiness or whatever that it was the feeling that they thought they were going to get with the money

Theresa Lambert: 00:31:03

yeah, and the thing is, is you start to live your life this way and start to make decisions this way even you know leaving work right if you want to feel more energized and it's five o'clock at night and oh six and you've already worked 10 hours right like what feels like what feels like would give me energy leaving and having dinner with a family or maybe meeting a friend on the patio now that we get to do that again or you know staying and answering the 100 emails that are still lingering in the inbox right and you know very quickly quickly which action actually is going to serve you more based on how you want to feel but the beautiful thing is the more you focus on the feeling first the more your life actually shift and your energy changes and other people are actually in things are more attracted to come to you because all of a sudden people are like oh you're so happy all the time. How do you do it? Oh like you seem like you buy all these things like where do you get all the money from right because we start to shift our perspective and we get to have the finger DVD ones now without having to buy anything or do anything because you know the truth is most of the things we want to feel are so simple. Like it's so simple, right? Do you want to be more joyful? Okay let's What is one thing in the morning that could give you joy right like maybe it's reading your book for 15 minutes or writing in your journal or you know like I don't know smelling the laundry that comes out of the dryer and like you know we have little things right like I think sometimes we we especially and I'm showing your well you would you know see this a lot that money becomes the thing that enables us to do you know anything but money is is you know money goes in and money goes out right like money doesn't give you anything right it really doesn't Yes, we need money to buy something like groceries and pay bills and things like that but so many times we use money as the excuse that we can't do things right like like you said like I'm I you know until I make this much I won't have you know like I won't feel at peace around my finances. But it's like well but you're choosing not to be at peace with your finances because you're telling you that you need the money first before you can feel that but money can make you feel that only yourself can make you feel that so out of all the things our own emotions and feelings we actually have control over like our own actions and thoughts we actually have control over everything else we do not so we spend all of our times trying to control all these things we don't have control over so that we can we can have those things then have a result over the only thing that we can control it doesn't make any sense

Kalee Boisvert: 00:34:09

yes, yeah. And as you're saying it like it's so much as clicking now and making sense to me I'm like whoo light ball. This is amazing like the joy I get when I like pull my like favorite sweat pants out of the dryer they're freshly cleaned I'm like whoa like I get all excited. I'm like I love these so comfy or dropping off my daughter at school and you know getting to see her like run to the door and she's so tiny with her big backpack and I'm like I love that I get to drop her off every day now because my you know work from home or how my schedule has shifted allows for it and I get to see that and and that's just like it's a memory and it makes me happy and I'm you know pretty sooner backpacks not going to be as giant for her and whatnot. But those moments are just No,

Theresa Lambert: 00:34:55

yeah, and that's what really makes life life. Write like that. It's the memories, it's those emotions that we feel in the moment where she runs to the door, you see a walk off with a little backpack, right? Like, and those memories and grain in our brain. And that is also such a motivator. Right? Like, that's the motivation you will have like, if you're going through tough times, if something really goes wrong to be like, you know what, that little face, seeing that face every day, oh, seeing the big pack pack, and like all the joy, I feel, I can make it through this day, I can make it through this week, I can figure this out, right? Because we're still those moments. And we just have to see them and feel them. And then we're like, wow, like, I have so much wealth. And when you feel that connected, your wellness, your well being your stress level, like it all starts to click into place without you having to do more for us.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:35:57

Wow, that's amazing. There's I think so many people are gonna feel I hope they have the light bulb moment too, because I was just like, you get all those ideas of like, Oh, I like feeling this, I do this. And that makes me feel this. And you're right. It's simple things that exist right now in our lives that we can easily find. What can we just go into then? A little bit further of Okay, we talked about you talked about redefining success then so you know, what does that mean? Now, like, what can we send our listeners off with this idea that they can redefine success, that success can be effortless is you know, the messaging you give and we talk you talk about the elegance of success. So I think that's a good note to sort of leave listeners with on is that how can this this shift?

Theresa Lambert: 00:36:42

Yeah, absolutely. So so the first thing I would really say is like, get a clearer clarify for yourself, right? Like, what does success mean to me? And maybe it's what does success mean to me right now. And again, like when I first sat down success, to me meant working long hours, not having a life making loads of money, being able to buy the things I want to buy, right? Like that's what success meant to me. And I didn't feel connected to that. Right? So so how can I redefine successful myself, that is more around how I want to feel, right? And so success for me is really to be able to feel the way I want to feel every single day of my life. Right? And so, so part of me for that is like, you know, that feeling of like, de wealth, the dis feeling of like, I actually live an extraordinary life. I live in a beautiful space. Like, I'm like, I want to feel joy, like actually experiencing joy, like fruit and fruit every day, not just when I'm on vacation. Every day, so it's really like think about like, how do you want to redefine success for yourself? And again, right, like, maybe it's freedom, wealth, well being peace, right? Like for you, it's like, it doesn't matter. Like this is your definition of success. There is no right or wrong. And then from that place, really start to think okay, well, if that is truly like if if I want to be this woman that's successful and successful means I'm, I experienced wealth and freedom and, and you know, joy and happiness. Again, whatever comes up from you, then, you know, what would my life look like? What would my day look like? What choices would this version of me make? Right? And, and for me, that's where that elegance comes in, in terms of like, I'm I Why would I rush? Why would I rush? Do I really have to check my emails? The second I walk wake up? And do I really have to keep going? Or is part of feeling that I lived his extraordinary life, the fact that I don't have to, I can just sit and be. There's all the time I need like, what a wealthy woman rush. Right? Like, does it seem like an extraordinary life to run out of the door? Ready? Do like divide and conquer? I don't think so. Right? So so really start to think, you know, what, what would that be like? What would it be? Like? What would it feel like? What would be in your life and what wouldn't be in your life anymore? And that's how I started to realize, you know, okay, I don't have to check my emails first thing in the morning. I don't have to work on my weekends. I don't have to be always available to be successful, right? Like, I get to set myself up in a different way and make choices that actually serve me now. Not in five years from now because I don't even know what's going to happen in five years, right? Like every day. We get to Bring this beautiful intention to how we live. And so but the redefining success really starts by you stepping back and being like, what does that VTX mean to me to be successful? You know, Deepak Chopra, I do his meditations. And one of the things he said there's a beautiful serious on, on success, like the Laws of Success. And he says that success is is ultimately that all of your desires becoming a reality. And I thought that was really powerful, right? So another thing you can think about around that is like, what do you really desire in your life? Not what do you want? Right? What do you desire? Right? Like the stuff they told us, like, you know, desires is, the devil is gonna, like, you know, come in if you have desires, like, I don't know, I grew up like Roman Kovalchuk. So this was interesting for me to write, but like, what do you desire? Like, this isn't one, this isn't stuff you need, like, what do you desire, and start to bring that language into your world, right? Like, I desire to sleep in today. I desire my husband to cook tonight. I desired to get a babysitter tomorrow. Not because I'm working just because I want space, I desire space. So start to bring that wording into your day to day, I desire you to make the photocopies.

Unknown: 00:41:33

Hey, I decided to leave at five o'clock today.

Theresa Lambert: 00:41:36

Right? Like it's simple shifts. Because one thing and I know we're sort of getting to the end of the episode is that our words, thoughts and actions create the outcomes that we want in our life, right? Like you'll, your thoughts, your words and your actions. So start to change your vocabulary start to shift from, I have to do this to feel that to I'm going to feel like this. And because I want to feel like this, this is what I'm going to do. Right, like start to make these shifts. And before you know it, like life is going to be a hell of a lot of difference. And you'll be like, it's like, my life is the same. But it's completely different. And I don't get it. And you don't have to get it. Because it's such a subtle small shift, right? We're not talking Quantum Leap SEO. Like, if you're working 70 hours a week, you know, maybe you want to slowly get to 50. And I remember when I got to 50 and I was like the world is my oyster. I was so much time 50 hours a week like oh my god, like we knew there was so much time in a week. Like,

Theresa Lambert: 00:42:41

that's still working more than most people. Yes, yes. But yeah, make it do what it is. Yeah. Little shifts.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:42:50

I love that. Yes. And how we can kind of get into that. And actually let me not the invite like, yeah, I want you know, I want to achieve this within five years. It's like, let's be that now. Let's be the feeling that that's going to give us now. And you've given so many great examples and in my mind is becoming Yes. So realistic on how we can do this right now.

Theresa Lambert: 00:43:15

Yeah. And you can like to everybody listening, right? Like you can do this right now. You can do this right now. You can do this right now. You don't have to wait until tomorrow and you don't really have to do much else. All you really need to do is get clear on how do you really desire to feel. How do you want to feel? Yes, you know it. You're an ambitious woman. You know how to feel you're very good at emotion. You can do this.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:43:44

Love it. Thank you so much trees. I love this chat. If listeners want to find you reach out what is the best way?

Theresa Lambert: 00:43:52

Yeah, so this space I hang out the most is actually my Instagram account at Teresa lamba coaching. And if anybody's listening and you want to find out more or get some access to some inspirational content, you can actually join my private membership space, it's free. It's called the living room. It's literally a space for you to come and hang out and be entertained by inspirational master classes and workshops that have run throughout the year. And you can visit that at Teresa Lambert coaching.com backslash the living room, all one word and you can sign up for free and you get instant access and it'll help you more with things around goal setting. Reese hitting the reset button there was a lot of really really great trainings in there that can help you that you can access for free so that's another great place to to start.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:44:45

Love it okay and I'll have the links on the show notes as well for listeners in case you didn't catch that. So definitely check that out. It sounds amazing. Thank you so much again, Teresa. That was such a great conversation. I love it. I know listeners are gonna get a lot of value out of this. So So thank you so much for your time. Thank you. Thank you and we will I will catch you listeners on the next episode. All right Bye for now.